Beef Noodles and Neil Humphreys

I went out with my dad today to Tampines Mall for the beef noodles again. Sitting in the crowded food court slurping away and talking and just enjoying the feeling of being together with my dad and getting his views on things was an experience I wish I could've frozen in time.

I always wish I could relive these times: the times when Janice and I would cycle to the East Coast Beach and chat away looking at the waves wash over the sand and getting ourselves sunburnt, the time when I was learning how to rollerblade on the aforesaid beach and how when I successfully bladed from one hump to the other, a whole group of watching Marines whooped encouragingly; the times in Secondary School when we would laugh over anything and everything, the times swimming in the Bedok pool with my dad and my brother, church camps where we would giggle into the late night with our secrets and over which guys in church were cute, and of course the times spent hanging out in Tampines Mall with my dad eating beef noodles.

When we were sitting in the crowded food court a group of aunties came over and without so much as a by-your-leave three items were laid down on the table: two packets of tissue paper and an umbrella, and then the aunties charged off to get their food. This was the first time I'd seen people reserve seats in the food court with tissue paper with my own eyes. My dad was nonchalant, I was aghast.

After that my dad brought me to a little old-style cafe called "Ah Kun Coffee Shop" where he bought two slices of kaya toast (90 cents for two) and a cup of hot "kopi" for him and "teh" for me. (90 cents each) And we had our tea in those little porcelain cups with red plastic spoons.

And I told him about how Linda and I went to a coffee shop and she said, "teh with milk please" and the Ah Beng seller said, "Teh la" and she said, "Yah, with milk" and he said "Teh la teh la"... and my dad laughed his head off and said in Chinese, "Gai tian ni de peng you lai keyi dai ta men lai zhe bian. Zhe shi Xing Jia Po de Starbrucks! (Next time your friends come from other countries to visit, you can bring them here. This is the Singaporean Starbrucks!)" and I laughed and laughed and my dad tried to say "Starbucks" but we both ended up slopping coffee all over the table.

So then I told him about Neil Humphreys and how, when he'd come to Singapore and tried to look for a hawker centre, he'd ended up sitting somewhere with tables and chairs and filled with people eating quietly. He had been waiting a long time for the food to come and was wondering what on earth was happening, when his friend Scott grabbed his arm and said, "Look! There's a ****ing dead body over there!"

"Where?"

"There! The one who is lying down and not ****ing breathing." And Scott was out there as fast as his legs couuld carry him. (*)

My dad laughed and I continued jabbering on fuelled by the knowledge that, come 13th April, there would be no one so tolerant of my constant jabber anymore. Not until June, at least.

(*)Notes from A Smaller Island by Neil Humphreys