Of Friendship, Cute Coursemates and Not So Cute coursemates
Walking back to halls yesterday along a beautiful road running through green fields where I used to sit in the summer chatting alongside nodding daffodils I saw two people with cerebral palsy walking slowly together in front of me. They were holding hands and each step was tedious, but neither of them seemed to mind. I couldn't walk anymore but stood still and tears came to my eyes. I knew one of them from halls - he's doing law; and the other one I'd seen around (and noticed because I thought he was quite cute) . The leaves were falling all around me and the trees were rustling merrily and as they helped one another along I just felt in my heart how beautiful friendship is, and how tremblingly fragile life is; so much so that each relationship you have, each person you really care about, is overwhelmingly precious.
And that's why I feel really bad about one of my coursemates and the way I treat her. The thing is, she only asks me for my notes and not for my friendship. When she sits beside me in lectures, she invariably starts her conversation with "I'm so tired" and ends with "What a lousy lecture that was, I'm so tired". As a result, I've come to the point where I refuse to answer anything negative she says or even acknowledge or sympathise with it. I feel bad about it; or maybe I know I should feel bad about it because she is, after all, a fellow human being. And yet almost everything about her annoys me.
Anyway, moving on to brighter things, I was studying in the library today when Cute Coursemate came along and said "How's it going?" Anyway we chatted for a bit; told him about how I'd tried to find Mint (the club he was deejaying at on Saturday) and got lost, and complained about our module (see, I complain too so just what is my problem with Complaining Coursemate? Ruth you are so unpleasant) and he got his stuff together and seemed undecided about where to sit; finally after some diddling about he sat beside me and took off his shoes (which I found extremely cute) and fiddled about with his notes and a bottle of milk. After a while his table seemed to become a little nest of sweet wrappers, and I said, "I hope that's not your lunch?" He grinned, shook his head and offered me a chewy fruit sweet.
And at some point he said, "What are you doing tonight?" but I was going out for dinner :o( It probably didn't mean anything significant anyway!
Anyway looked at the same page for two hours, sneaking little peeks at his arm, and finding excuses to give him cute stares! Guess the library has become a place I should avoid if I want to get any studying done this year.
And that's why I feel really bad about one of my coursemates and the way I treat her. The thing is, she only asks me for my notes and not for my friendship. When she sits beside me in lectures, she invariably starts her conversation with "I'm so tired" and ends with "What a lousy lecture that was, I'm so tired". As a result, I've come to the point where I refuse to answer anything negative she says or even acknowledge or sympathise with it. I feel bad about it; or maybe I know I should feel bad about it because she is, after all, a fellow human being. And yet almost everything about her annoys me.
Anyway, moving on to brighter things, I was studying in the library today when Cute Coursemate came along and said "How's it going?" Anyway we chatted for a bit; told him about how I'd tried to find Mint (the club he was deejaying at on Saturday) and got lost, and complained about our module (see, I complain too so just what is my problem with Complaining Coursemate? Ruth you are so unpleasant) and he got his stuff together and seemed undecided about where to sit; finally after some diddling about he sat beside me and took off his shoes (which I found extremely cute) and fiddled about with his notes and a bottle of milk. After a while his table seemed to become a little nest of sweet wrappers, and I said, "I hope that's not your lunch?" He grinned, shook his head and offered me a chewy fruit sweet.
And at some point he said, "What are you doing tonight?" but I was going out for dinner :o( It probably didn't mean anything significant anyway!
Anyway looked at the same page for two hours, sneaking little peeks at his arm, and finding excuses to give him cute stares! Guess the library has become a place I should avoid if I want to get any studying done this year.
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