The Old Bar, Snow and Promises Of Newcastle

I went out today with Moa, a girl from India. We went for curry and afterwards for a drink at the Old Bar which is really cosy and is kind of like the British version of kopitiams, except they serve beers instead of coffees. I had my Baileys and she had her Smirnoff and we sat in a little seat and chatted.

I kind of had all these flashes when we chatted and things, of how I was like a few months ago when I was rather more immature about relationships and lads. I always just wanted to have someone by my side, but I realise now that even though it's nice to be held by someone and to be told you're beautiful and things like that, it's an ephemeral kind of happiness and I'd rather be secure in who I am than be told something by someone else which would make me secure.

Ah, in a way I'm just trying rather hard to convince meself as well.

Was chatting to Hao Ern yesterday on MSN:

Hao Ern: My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. For where you are weak, there I am strong.

Hao Ern: Memorise it

Hao Ern: Let it sink into your heart

Ruthie: Okie

Hao Ern: Gosh I'm starting to sound like Wee Leon

Ruthie: Yes father

You know you've been talking too much on MSN when during Biology practicals, you have to deal with some disgusting specimen or other, your coursemate says "mingin", and you want to reply "lol".

It was snowing today (on the left you see the view from my window) and it's freezing cold. It's really pretty though, after I walked Moa to the bus stop I was walking home in the snow and you can't help but be in a good mood looking at it coming down so thick and fast all around you and you get kind of an unnatural sense of calm.

Gemma asked me today whether it snowed in Singapore to which I laughed sarcastically.

And she invited me over to hers (Newcastle) for the summer. She lives near the top of a hill and the beach and the lake are close by. Warns me that her family is very loud though. It's ok, my aunts are astonishingly loud so I'm used to it, and so, Newcastle here I come!

She told me about how she used to go sledging in the winter and I couldn't say anything to that except ... uhhh... how I used to go to the beach and rent blades from the roller-blading uncle in December, and get myself so sunburnt that the skin would peel off my nose, and uh how we would throw mudballs at each other and similar unrelated stories.

And oh, now that Christmas is over these little Maltesers in the form of tree decorations are selling 8 for 99p! I bought a pack of them and they are LOVELY. Round chocolate balls with a Malteser inside...heavenly.

People are having a snowball fight outside my house now... but my housemates are too old and too wise to fight with.

Till next time.

Random Thoughts In A Random Day

I just had a bright idea. Whenever I meet someone who's from another country, I'll change the date settings so that the date is in the language of that country! Cool huh?

Or perhaps just slightly random, the stoopid ideas of someone who seems to have way too much time on her hands.

I say seems to because, in fact, I'm supposed to be rather busy today. Had to send out a couple of letters to sponsors for our dinner and dance, and also had to make sure that the logistics were ok (like the LCD and lectern could be borrowed) but in fact wasted almost an entire day. Was supposed to go for another acapella group practice but ended up going for only 10 minutes of it before rushing home to do work which almost threatened to overwhelm me.

Everytime I think of work I get slightly depressed and feel like vomiting, literally! I shouldn't get this feeling because once I stop studying and start working, life's going to be even more hectic. Especially in Singapore and especially if I end up as some kind of scatterbrained HOD with no idea what the teachers in my department are up to. They'll probably be teaching the kids how to behave like little robots and draw stick-straight lines in their exercise books while I go on happily blogging and dreaming in my own world.

Anyway, was feeling a little depressed today so I read a little bit of my Bible. The story where He spits on his fingers and then touches his spittle to the tongue of a mute man surprised me a little. And it cheered me up as well. A random story in a random day. I thought that if He could've done something so earthy, He surely wouldn't mind the mistakes and flaws of someone just as earthy if not more - i.e. me the great big doofus of a zillion mistakes, each one more disastrous than the next.

While I'm on this subject, pancake day was yesterday and I didn't get to eat any pancakes! Damn. Ah well, there's always a tomorrow.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow...

Friday Five

Time for Friday Five.

When was the last time you...

1. Went to the doctor?

Two years ago I think, to get a checkup and some jabs before coming over. Although my brother did lance my toe last September...

2. Went to the dentist?

Last September. It was free because the dentist said so little work needed to be done on my teeth

3. Filled your gas tank?

I don't have a car, sadly...

4. Got enough sleep?

Yesterday, when I slept for 12 hours because the lecturers are on strike today and I don't need to go to uni...

5. Backed up your computer?

When I bought a printer in October 2003.

Spring and Acapella Singing

Yes, the weather is freezing and yes, the trees are still bare but the daffodils are tentatively showing their pretty heads and spring is indeed coming, not suddenly, not obtrusively, but taking a baby step at a time. And Ruth is again being pompous

We had a practice for the acapella song again, and I am liking Serene, the Portuguese girl, more and more. She reminds me of the girl who acted in Love Actually with Colin Firth, with her pretty tanned skin and brown eyes, and she laughs alot! We were laughing so much today because Alvin kept on conducting in such a funny way, and because one of the bits in the song, "Mata Ayer", sounded so amusing when we sung it like "Mmmmmmmata Ayer! MMmmmmaata Ayer!" We couldn't start singing for 10 minutes because we were laughing so hard. The other new girl, Cordelia from Hong Kong, is really nice as well. And she has a pretty name.

I was talking to Ranjan in the Terrace Bar in the Union today, and he told me about being a subwarden in Devonshire and all the privileges he gets and how little he has to do. He's got me seriously thinking about becoming a subwarden there. The only thing is, I'll be living with Level One students again. I don't know if I will mind though, Dan told me I would hate it because all they ever talk about is crap, but I think there will always be the few people whom you can click with and chat ages to, everywhere. With twenty people in a flat, the chances of meeting kindred spirits are pretty high, I think. :o)

Decisions, decisions. Shall sleep on it and wake up with a clearer head tomorrow.

Latest thing consumed: Mango Lassi from Flames

Latest music heard: Bengawan Solo (urgghhh...)

Pensiv-ity

Am listening to "Beautiful World" by Coldplay, a sad song where the acoustic guitar almost seems to speak.

It was snowing today in Leeds, and I was walking to church in a magic world of swirling white flakes. It was so strange because I was wondering what they were at first, whether some budding tree was being buffeted so strongly by the wind that petals were raining down, and then I continued walking for a bit and realised it was snow. I felt like I was all alone, a little statuette in one of those globes that you shake, causing teeny sparkly bits to float up and fall gently all around the centerpiece.

Wee Leon was saying something that really sobered me up today. He said that your friends and the people in your cell group won't remember what you say to them, but your life and your values will make the greatest impact on them.

Wee Leon said that our values are the things we make time for, and I was just thinking about what I make time for, and what my life revolves around, and was pretty shaken up to think that my life wasn't revolving around anything particularly important, and my values were mainly transient pleasure. I don't really know what to do about it though, I think I should make a greater effort to make time for my friends and especially for calling back home, because my family members could be the only people who truly love me unconditionally, and my friends are the people whom I should be treasuring and getting to know better.

Anyyyyywayyyy...

After church, Vincent cooked an amazing curry for us in under 20 minutes. We all hung around and ate as though we had not eaten in years, and sang Sunday School songs, fooling around. I remember laughing alot but can't remember what I was laughing about! :oP

Wee Leon has a really cute stuffed toy from "Monster's Inc", it's Boo's/ Scully's one-eyed bear. It's so cute and has this really sincere fanged smile. I couldn't let go of it for a long time and Vincent kept laughing at me hugging it to my chest.

After that we all went home and I had a long session of cutting the Dinner and Dance tickets with Andrew and listening to sad songs on the stereo. Sad songs played at night are particularly nice, and particularly apt, I think.

Am getting a little sleepy...and nose feels a little sniffly...

Good night.

Beats and Surreality

I went to watch "Lost In Translation" with Audrey yesterday, and I thought it was pretty good. Lizzie said you had to be in kind of a pensive mood to really appreciate it, so I tried to get myself into a half-awake sort of mood and sank into my seat and tried my hardest to slow myself down to the kind of pace that the film was moving along at. I thought it did a really good job of portraying the kind of lostness and surreality one feels when stuck in a different country; the monosyllabic telephone calls, the beats that pass between a conversation, unnatural beats, the wanting to escape, explore, try new things, not be oneself.

Am I becoming kinda too pompous and things?

Anyway, I've just woken up from a late night so I should really get washing and brushing the various parts that need to be uh, washed and brushed. Alvin and gang are coming over later to practise Bengawan Solo. Hope it goes ok!

Later :o)

Chance Meetings

Just got the Dinner and Dance tickets done and printed out today. Andrew, bless him, did almost all of the designing and I did the laughing and ordering him around. So they're done and boy they look fine. I can't wait until I'm relieved of all the things I have to do, when I can finally start living my own life.

Edwin has been telling me about this funky smell in my room and today I realised he's been right. It does smell and I have no idea why, because I use two air fresheners and I wash my clothes once a week and I vacuum my room and things and generally live a very clean clutter-free life. Personally, I believe that the funky smell diffuses from Edwin's room into mine.

I was in the Union today because I wanted to grab a quick bite before going over to Gerald's house to get the tickets printed out, and I bumped into Dan. We had the shortest of chats and he said that he had texted me about a week ago because he'd seen me coming out of the Union but I hadn't seen him, and also about a month ago telling me of his new number. I hadn't received both and I think he must've saved my number wrongly, which kind of shows how much I mean to him now. Aw just kidding, I could tell that he still thought I was pretty (something about the eyes, they kinda dilate in approval) and he still thought I was nice. Anyway, if I could've met someone so nice just for the shortest of times and even if it hadn't worked out, it just shows that the next lad I meet and the next will definitely get nicer and nicer. And I don't have to go out of my way to meet people, or to meet nice people for that matter; because I believe they will come to me.

It was good though that we managed to talk as friends and I was glad to see that he still made the effort to remain friends and things. And after that I was walking back home thinking and it was funny how I still think that alot of things about us and our personalities are very similar and we can talk about alot of things, but there's nothing in me that cries out with neediness anymore. I'm glad that I've met someone like that, it was truly rare and I think I've learnt to let go and let it be.

Ruth

The Countdown's Getting Lower Every Day

On walking back from university today, I noticed that the tree in front of the old church opposite the post office was covered in beautiful white blossoms. Spring is definitely coming, even though the weather is still as cold and miserable as ever. I wanted to take a picture of that tree, but ended up taking a picture of the tree just outside my house instead. This one is still bare, but I'll get a picture of it when the branches start budding and things.

I went to Yates Beer Garden with Audrey for a quick pub lunch today, feel as though I've spent alot of money, (£3.45), but it was worth it to sit there lazing (for only a scant hour, though) savouring steak and kidney pie amidst the elderly who were sitting there puffing lazily on ciggies or slowly drinking tea.

Audrey and I were talking about Revelations (heavy topic for lunch conversation huh?) and how the moon had turned red many years back and how there had already been an astoundingly heavy meteor shower; and how SARS and the bird flu seemed to signal the beginning of the end. Don't get me wrong, I'm not an end timesy kind of doomsday prophet but sometimes when I think about things and when the world is going to end, I get a little freaked out.

At times I imagine people I know and think about how they would behave during a war, whether they would be brave and longsuffering, or whether they would become bitter and complain, and the weirdest thing is I kind of have this uncanny feeling that there will be a World War Three one day and I will be put through the fire, to determine whether I'm made of dross or silver.

I know, I'm just in one of those moods...

Ruth

When the World Is Spinning Round...?

We discussed some questions in philosophy today, and because Alex (our proctor) didn't really cover them properly but raced through them, they're still running through my head. Can anyone help me sort these out?

1. If everything in the universe suddenly doubled in size overnight, what would happen?

I haven't got a clue what would happen. Would we still be double in size, as size is a physical quantity, or would we be the same size as size would be affected by perception and we would still perceive the sizes of everything to be the same? Does size change with our perception of it or is it a property an object possesses that is definable by any means other than our senses?

2. If everyone in the universe saw pink as blue and blue as pink, would violets still be blue?

I think they would be pink, because pink and blue would be what we perceived to be pink and blue, and in this case we would perceive violets to be pink, so they would be pink according to the names we gave to the colours we perceived.

But John says that the violets would be blue because even though we would perceive them as pink, they would still be blue underneath, as blue was a property the violets possessed which would be constant no matter what.


This makes sense but I still think that the names we give colours are arbitrary, so I could be the first person to call orange red and it would be called red and it would be red simply because I had called it red first, even though it was actually orange. Similarly, the violets would be pink because, in this case, they were named pink even though they were still blue, but blue would be pink because of the names being switched around, and thus in this new world, the old blue would become the new pink and the violets would be pink.

Ok, my eyes are starting to glaze over, so I will not bother you with the third problem troubling me, which is even more complicated and complicates the second problem as well...

Good night.

Ruth

A New Beginning

So I've decided to start a new blog, for various reasons. You can still view the old one here if you want to.

Anyway, racing on to the interesting bits...

I've devised a strategy so that I'll never lose my keys again. I've attached my keys to my mobile with a little string, and have a little keychain as well also attached to my mobile phone. After that unfortunate incident with my keys falling down into the lining of my coat and my having to feel myself up from Headingley all the way to Parkinson's, I decided that drastic action needed to be taken.

I went for my first Philosophy proctorial today, and ended up in a tutorial group of four people (think the rest were absent or something). It was horrible; the proctor went too fast, and didn't allow us time to discuss the questions for ourselves. He was pretty good, well spoken and nice, but I got the feeling that he was a little afraid that we wouldn't be able to discuss the questions enough to figure out the answers on our own. So he skipped from question to question like a demented frog, and I ended up going out more confused than when I had come in. I still think all the answers I wrote down for my proctorial are correct, which means that the proctor didn't do a very good job of raising questions and facilitating discussion!

There was a question in the tutorial concerning woolly jumpers and the Americans (there were two in my group) kept on laughing about "jumpers", which the proctor patiently explained were sweaters. I felt a little fierce, as I've always been intrigued by the differences, never made fun of them. I admit I had a pretty embarrassing conversation with Dan involving "pants" -

Me: I can't go to your dinner and dance! I don't have a dress to wear. I think I might just wear pants...
Dan:(laughing uncontrollably)

Anyway, I really dislike people thinking their own versions of English are better, and the same goes for people anywhere in the world and any version of English. So English is spoken differently around the world, that's what makes everything interesting! Ok, shall stop preaching for now, you know I'm always up in arms about some topic or other, especially if it involves race or accent.

Till next time.

Ruth